If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams
Would I love You enough to let go?
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life?
If you had asked me seven months ago what I wanted my life to look like, I could tell you word for word what all of my plans and dreams were:
I wanted to be a High School Band Director.
I wanted to live somewhere warm with my family.
I knew who I was going to marry, and I knew that I wanted to marry him about 5 years later when we had both finished school.
Our honeymoon would have been somewhere grand, Italy or Greece, probably.
I knew I wanted three kids (two boys and then a girl, like I can really control that).
I would be content living in middle class, but would always strive to make more money.
We would go to church and keep our family close to God by praying and reading the Bible together.
I had my life completely planned out, and nothing was going to change those plans.
But God has other plans for me.
Now, I'm about 6 months away from embarking on an adventure around the world for nine months, and I have no idea what is in store for me afterwards. Almost every one of the plans that I made have changed completely. I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't have any idea where I'll be living. I have no idea who will be the man God has picked out for me, upon the recent end of a relationship that lasted more than two years. Who knows where I'll have my honeymoon or who it will be with? I still want children, but I don't have that as planned as I had. I don't care if I have money or not. I'll still keep my family close to God, but even more so than I ever dreamed. I don't know what my kids will look like or if they will even end up being my own or if I'll adopt.
All I want is to serve God. I want my entire life to be a testimony to Him. I have no plans past next year, but I know that God has plans for me, and that they are going to be so much better than I could ever imagine.
It is the most interesting sensation to have nothing planned for yourself and to live each day fully relying that God will direct you on His path. I can't describe it. All I know is that I love it, and I want to live each and every day this way, fully trusting in Him.
Lord I give You my life
I give you my life!
When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me!
I want to be where You are
I'm running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus here is my heart!
-From "You Can Have Me" by Sidewalk Prophets
